Complaining Can Be Useful?

According to Robin M. Kowalski, a psych professor at Clemson University, complaining does serve a purpose. In her new book Complaining, Teasing, and Other Annoying Behaviors (Yale U. Press 2003) she says "Complaining has value. We wouldn't do it otherwise."

Complaining can relieve stress (venting, getting things off our chests), connect people (uniting people against a common concern, engendering sympathy), and get results (correcting issues), if it is done correctly. Done wrong, it is just annoying. Believe me, I know this. I have listened to my students, my colleagues, and myself complain poorly.

How NOT to complain:

1. Complain all the time. Constant complaining is just whining, and makes you seem like a crank.
   
2. Complain without checking the facts. Do some research about the issue before you start to complain.
   
3. Be non-specific: I tell my students "Don't tell me that this assignment sucks, tell me why it sucks."
   
4. Complain to the wrong person. If you are not complaining to someone who can correct the problem, the chances of correcting the problem are slim.
   
5. Make the complaint a personal attack. Use "I" statements to avoid criticizing directly.
   
6. Have no suggestions as to how to fix the issue. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate problem.
   
7. Let the issue escalate. If you are proactive, maybe the problem can be fixed more easily if it is noticed quickly. A stitch in time..., don't you know.
   

Everything can be useful, even complaining, if the time is taken to do it well.